KinkLab Vampire Gloves

January 4, 2009

I have a thing for vampires. Just in general. Even before Twilight was written, I was going gaga over blood suckers. I even did a ridiculous vampire shoot with Chris back in August. I like being bitten. I’m always cold…but yet I don’t wear socks, or really jackets. I rarely sleep, and am up all night. Like till 5 or 6am. Vampires rock my life.

So what, you may be asking, do vampires have to do with sex toys? Well, fetish items are toys too! And I love fetish toys. Floggers, nipple clamps and paddles – all things I enjoy and love.

But vampire gloves? FUCKING BRILLIANT.

What, you may ask, are vampire gloves? They are ordinary leather gloves that aren’t quite so ordinary. Each finger (and thumb) on both gloves are covered with a large mass of metal spikes. The palm is spike free on my pair (although there are in fact vampire gloves available that have spikes on the palms as well).

For the most part, the spikes feel wonderful, but are fairly innocuous. They leave little scratch marks, but don’t really draw blood. However, my left hand glove has some spikes that are a little sharper, or set a little off – something. And daaaaamn. They can HURT. As in draw blood. And leave lots o’ scratch marks/small cuts for a few days.

The first time I played with them, it was last month with F. I was running them up and down her as she shuddered. Later, in the middle of watching Lesbian Life: Real Sex San Francisco, F and I wound up getting into a spanking scene. I was reddening her ass, and then would slooooowly dragged my spiked gloves over her red ass cheeks, feel her body climax into me over and over and over again. I actually like not having spikes on the palms, because then you can spank and smack with the palms, without having to take off the gloves in between.

Next, I brought them to a play party. I didn’t have anything in mind, but then my cute friend who happens to be a Domme wanted to play with me (she has a thing about Hitachi Magic Wands, and I just so happened to have brought one with me). As she rummaged through my bag, she found the vampire gloves, and was completely entranced by them. They felt amazing as she ran them up and down my body. My arms, my back, my breasts, my thighs. I was already flying high, just from feeling the cold spikes against my skin.

However- the left glove scratched up the inside of my leg pretty bad, and I still have some cuts around my nipples from it. So if you’re not into blood play, don’t let a Domme (or Dom or top) grab hold of your gloves without making sure they are not as sharp anymore.

These are probably one of my favorite new toys…and I have a fuck ton of toys, so that’s saying a lot. In fact, I think everyone, even people who are not super into fetishy things, should have their very own set of vampire gloves. Freaking amazing!

-Essin’ Em

Afterglow Candle

December 30, 2008

If you were to visit me, you would notice a preponderance of candles in my house. On the dining room tables, the kitchen counter, the top of the fridge, in my bedroom, on the bookshelves (ok, not a wise sounding idea, but those are ones that aren’t going to get lit for a while). It’s one of my most stereotypical Femme/feminine traits; I LOVE candles. Especially good smelling ones.

Well, luckily, Babeland was kind enough to give me an Afterglow Candle (by Jimmy Jane) to review.

In the little box that arrived, I got the candle (which is a really good sized candle), a GIANT box of matches (score!) and a little brush. When you light the candle, and it melts, it turns into massage oil, which feels phenomenal when poured warm onto the skin.

Brush wise, I have to say I didn’t get it. I’m not sure why you’re supposed to use a brush to put oil/wax onto the skin. It just didn’t work for me. However, it is my cat’s (Kinsey) absolute new favorite toy – even more loved then his decimated peacock feather. So it certainly has it’s uses.

I got the Figleaf scent…and it was AMAZING. I lit it, and immediately, a soft but delicious smell started to fill the room. It was a little flowery, but not too much so…and it wasn’t super strong, which can ruin a moment. No no – it was ideal. And mmmm.

We let the candle burn as we played, and then she poured some of the wax/oil onto my back. As she rubbed it in, the tension left me completely. It started, after 10-15 minutes to absorb into my skin, leaving my skin soft and smelling delightful. A small amount was dropped on my nightstand, but it later hardened back into wax, and was easy to get off with a finger nail.

I love this candle. So far, it’s my favorite massage oil candle, and it’s also a great into for people who want to try wax play, but don’t want to start with “real” wax. It has a very low burning temp, making it great for anyone! Five stars, out of five!

For your very own warm, loving and caring (hey, I can anthropomorphize a candle, right?) Afterglow Candle, just click here!

-Essin’ Em

Liberator Ramp

December 28, 2008

As we all know, I have a leopard print fetish. Love sac, photo albums, sheets, negligees, pillows, purse, gloves – you name it, I probably have it in leopard print. Ergo, when a certain sex toy company happened to start carrying the Liberator Ramp in LEOPARD PRINT, you can imagine the cravings I felt. Luckily, they decided to reward me (and wish me a happy birthday), and guess what arrived on my doorstep? Yeah, you got it!

So, I’ve never had a piece of sex toy furniture that was made specifically for sex. I mean, sure, I’ve re-commissioned pillows into wedges, I’ve used counters and couches. I even have an amazing Fascinator Throe that keeps my bed from getting wet/lubey/waxy/etc. But no “real” furniture.

Ergo, I was incredibly excited to give this a try. Even better, it showed up on my doorstep on my actual birthday…

I was demonstrating all the positions you could do with it. You can put it at the end of the bed, be bent over and fucked from behind. You can do doggy style on the bed. You can lean someone up against it, bending your legs until you’re half a pretzel, and get fucked. You can lean down over it it, resting your head on the bed quite comfortable, giving you ideal g-spot or p-spot access. This is bloody brilliant.

However, I have to say that I think the most brilliant use for it is for oral sex on on a woman…I’m not sure how this works for sucking cock (of any variety), but if you’re going down on a woman, and have her lie back, scootching her butt to the edge of the ramp – and BAM! Perfect position to eat some cunt. You don’t have to have the same kind of neck cramps, and you have so much more easy access. Freaking genius. And as the woman on the receiving end, it feels AMAZING.

The soft, microsuede cover feels soft and gentle against your skin – no chance of rug burn here. Better yet, you can unzip it, and it is machine washable, so you can share the ramp with partners, use lubes without fear of it getting gross after time, etc. Moreover, there is an awesome cover to put on it when it’s not in use, so you don’t need to worry about it getting dusty.

Only problem I had with this miraculous ramp was the storage issue – it’s fairly sizeable, and while it kinda sorta fits on the top shelf of my closest, it’s certainly not the best solution. I’ve contemplated leaving it out in my living room with the rest of my leopard print items, but I can’t really find a place for it. If you’re living in a one bedroom apartment like me, I would think about where you might put it before you get it.

Otherwise, this is probably one of my favorite, and most useful sexuality items I’ve had the pleasure of review. Also, you can use it for other things, like stretching, fancy yoga poses, or as a back pillow for reading in bed. Lots of uses, lots of fun, and I bet you now want your very own Liberator Ramp (and don’t worry – it comes in other colors than leopard print.

-Essin’ Em

Hitachi Magic Wand

December 21, 2008

The Hitachi Magic Wand is the only vibrator you’ll ever need again.

I mean, that’s really the entire review of it. It is one of the top selling items at Babeland, but elsewhere as well. Pretty much every sex toy retailer sells more Hitachis than anything else. Why? Because they are freaking amazing.

Someone once asked me how I’d describe the Hitachi. If a normal orgasm is like a rainstorm, the Hitachi is a like a tsunami. If a normal orgasm is like a Hershey’s kiss, a Hitachi is like Godiva. If a normal orgasm is like a shot of McCormicks, the Hitachi is Grey Goose. Get it yet?

It plugs into the wall. That’s right; no batteries, no waiting for it to recharge. Super green and environmentally friendly. Plus, the Hitachi has been around for decades upon decades. As they say, if it ain’t broke, then don’t fix it. The Hitachi is amazing. It’s wonderful. It’s perfect.

I give them as presents to people. I recommend them to people. I take people to get their first vibrator, and help them get Hitachis. They are the best toys you’ll ever own.

You can also use them as back massagers…I know it sounds kind of odd, but I mean, that IS what they were designed for. I have definitely used them to get the kinks out, and in this case, kink is not a synonym for orgasm.

There are also all kinds of attachments you can use (silicone, of course), for vaginal penetration, for anal penetration, for additional clitoral stimulation.

Basically, this is the most wonderful and amazing sex toy you can and will ever buy. I am not kidding. I am not guilty of hyperbole. You can use it alone, during intercourse, on a partner, with a partner. Use it for sex, use it for back massages.

Get a Hitachi Magic Wand. I cannot recommend it any higher. If I had to get rid of every single sex toy I own (and I own more than 150), and only keep one, I’d keep the Hitachi.

-Essin’ Em

Sex Toy Review: Lovers Paintbox

December 15, 2008

I love chocolate. I love touching people. I love skin. Ergo, the Lovers Paintbox was obviously a brilliant choice for me.

Instead of playing with these with a partner/lover, I decided to get a wider range of opinions, and I took this kit with me to my birthday party. I figured that we might wind up playing a game like Truth or Dare (yes, I’m in my 20’s, but it’s a damn good game), and it’s always good to have…options…when playing that kind of game.

Good plan. A few rounds in, I was dared to paint my name in chocolate on Sasha Sappho’s cleavage. I did, in a variety of flavors and colors (cause this had three flavors/colors; dark chocolate, milk chocolate, and white chocolate). And then I was challenged to lick it off…which took freaking forever.

I’ve tried out a chocolate body pain before, by Shunga. It was fairly liquidy, like chocolate syrup. These chocolate paints were different – thicker, chocolatier, etc. I glanced at the brush, but honestly, it was way too big for the task at hand, so I just used my fingers. If you wanted thicker lines, it would be just fine…I’ve also used a variety of little make up brushes (clean, unused of course).

General consensus was that the chocolates tasted good, although they were a little too sweet. Also, no one was a very big fan of the vanilla – I thought it has a bit of a strange after taste.

All in all, it was a ton on fun, especially in a group setting, and having used chocolate body paint before, I know it’s a lot of fun between just two people. However, keep in mind that if you’re going to lick it off, you shouldn’t use a lot, as it takes a lot of licks to get a little off. A great alternative is do your masterpiece, lick a little, and then take a fun, hot and steamy shower together.

Even better – right now, the Lovers Painbox is on sale! Even full price, you get a ton of body paint (we only used a tiny hint of it), and right now, you get a super duper deal, thanks to VibeReview.

-Essin’ Em

Padded Blindfold

December 14, 2008

One sex accouterment that I have yet to add to my collection, but that I think is fairly crucial, is a good quality, comfortable, and padded blindfold. I mean, there are many blindfolds that exist, and yes, you could use just any kind of cloth or tie…but we all know that I love my sex toys, and besides, this blindfold is RED AND BLACK. I mean, come on! It matches all of my sex toys, much of my outfits, my decor, and at times, even my hair. You can get any better than that.

It showed up in a tube like container, which was great to store it while it was waiting to be used. An added bonus is that I can re-use the container to store things. I appreciate useful, re-useable packaging, rather than overpackaged, cheap disposable boxes.

One night, I took it out while F was over at my place, and gently placed it over her head. It wasn’t really a sex type of night (I know, hard to believe), but I figured I’d at least introduce the two of them. F, here is my new and sexy blindfold. New and sexy blindfold, please meet the sexy and hot F. That accomplished, I laughed a little as she wore it in a headband style…tres chic. After a good laugh, I helped her to slip it over her eyes. She had me adjust it a few times, but said that although it was comfortable, she could see underneath it a little. Taking it off, we left it for the evening.

A few days letter, I was begging for her to fuck me with the Spareparts Harness and the Buzz 1. As she was getting all strapped on, I was playing around in the kitchen (isn’t that where everyone keeps their sex toys and porn to be reviewed?), and slipped the blindfold onto my head…instantly, I decided that this was a brilliant decision…and kept wearing it, as I stumble blindly towards the bedroom. I didn’t have the same issue as F – once I adjusted it properly, I couldn’t see ANYTHING…and it was still super comfy.

F helped me into the bedroom, and put me on my back. She laughed as she told me that I had to find the lube — good thing we were at my place, so I knew how to find it relatively quickly. She lubed up, and started to fuck me…it was so intense, and hot, not to be able to see what she was doing to me. God, it was amazing. I had her flip me over, and fuck me from behind, and again, amazing. After coming a few times, I collapsed with her on top of me, taking a few minutes before I was able to tiredly peel the blindfold off my face.

Basically, this is a pretty good quality, very attractive and super comfy blindfold…and that best part? It’s under 20 bucks, so is incredibly affordable for you and you partner(s). I’d give this to any of my friends looking for a good blindfold…especially if they like the red and black color scheme. Don’t you want a sexy blindfold?

-Essin’ Em

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