I have met very few people in my life EVER that don’t like massages. I mean, there are so many types of massages; Swedish, Deep Tissue, Hot Stone, Skin Rolling, and then there is the kind that I do. What is that? Well, I do the best I can. I ask whoever I’m massaging what they like, hard or soft, any certain areas, etc. I love giving massages, I love getting them, I think massages are bloody brilliant.

Vibe Review has been kind enough to send me something to cater to my love of the massage; they sent me the Kama Sutra Massage Therapy Kit. This kit is lovely! It has five bottles of Kama Sutra massage oil, each one being 2 oz. Each one comes in a different scent; Serenity, Pleasure Garden, Healing Blend, Soaring Spirit and Sweet Almond.

In my time giving massages (read: every freaking night in college when living in the dorms and onwards), I have tried a variety of lotions and oils. Some are very greasy and make you gross and sticky forever…whereas others soak in and disappear right away, making it kind of pointless to even use them. The Kama Sutra oils actually meet a happy medium - they are smooth and provide for effortless massages, but then they eventually rub in (after lots o’ rubbing), leaving your skin (or your partner’s skin) feeling incredibly soft, and just slightly scented.

Scent wise, my favorite is definitely the Soaring Spirit. I find it really relaxing and refreshing - it has hints of ginger, peppermint, spearmint, fennel, orange and lemon. Now, I like most of these scents/flavors in general - I drink a lot of mint tea, I eat a lot of ginger (pickled and candied), I eat fennel or oranges, and love to suck lemon wedges. Ergo, it follows that I would love this scent, and I absolutely do. However, it isn’t for everyone; F was not such a big fan.

Pleasure Garden was an interesting scent…I found it a little too…well…incense-y. It isn’t very strong, which is a big plus for some people, but I could barely smell it. It has hints of sandalwood, jasmine, rose and lavender, which makes me think of sitting in a Moroccan restaurant, which is certainly not a bad thing, but it’s just not really my type of scent.

The Sweet Almond scent is really, really, really relaxing. It is great for a massage right before bed, and it is definitely a scent I would love to fall asleep to.

I found the Healing Blend to be a little strong, because it has so many different scents within it, but I could see how it would be really popular in general.

Serenity is a nice blend, and actually, my favorite way to use this is not really as a massage oil, but to drop into water, whether into a foot bath for soaking my feet, or into a fully drawn bath to soak and relax.

I will say that my cats weren’t the biggest fans of any of the scents…but they hated them less my Biofreeze and Tiget Balm, so it’s not a huge travesty.

I really like having the kit, because you have a choice of scents, and try them all out. However, if you’ve already figured out which scent is right for you, you can also buy large bottles of the massage oil (which I’ve already done with Soaring Spirit!).

Click here for your very own Kama Sutra Massage Therapy Kit.

-Essin’ Em

Thanks to the folks at Babeland, I have another fun Adult Game to review for you. This one caught my eye immediately, primarily because it involved chocolate…and I, my friends, am a chocoholic! That’s right, F and I got to review Strip Chocolate.

I’d been waiting on this one for a while. When it first came in the mail, I had visions of a large group of sexy, intelligent, witty women playing it (a girl can dream, right), especially since a lot of my friends, and a few derby girls expressed interest in it. However, week after week, people were busy/unavailable/my place was a mess/some combo of the aforementioned. So one night, F came over, and poor things that we are, we had to test it out by ourselves.

Good thing it was only us - there are two “sorry-esque” game pieces (red and black, perfectly enough!), so it seems to be really only meant for two people. I chose black, handing her the red pieces, and I read the instructions outloud. The hard part was keep our clothes on long enough to play the game. By the time we got to the bedroom, placed everything where it needed to go, and popped in an AbbyWinters.com dvd, I was suddenly wearing nothing but my underwear, and had to find a negligee and a coat in order to have three items of clothing (playing with less would have been silly).

Rolling the die = fine. The strip squares = fine (although too many of them too quickly). However, the painting on the chocolate was an exercise in love/hate relationships. I loved painting F with the different designs, and when she was painting me, it was all I could do to keep from jumping her. However, you’re not supposed to lick it off right away - you have to wait till you come to a dare square. Well, let me tell you, chocolate body paint, if not licked off immediately, becomes incredibly sticky - sticking to other skin, hair, clothing, my leopard print bedsheets, etc. Finally, I said fuck it, and we got the chocolate off each other.

The game ended very quickly, even with the “extended play rules” - and it was hard to do the “favors” with all the sticky chocolate on our bodies. Eventually, we just gave up, and placed the board on the floor to have fabulous sex.

All in all, it’s a fun concept..I’d given the game itself 3 out of 5 stars. I think I’m going to need to come up with a different rule set to make it work better for me….but the chocolate is brilliant (and tasty), and the idea quite cute. I’d play it again!

-Essin’ Em

I am a big Hitachi fan. That’s an understatement. I may be the Hitachi’s biggest fan. Ever.

But a little bird kept telling me how amazing the Wahl Vibrator was. Over and over again.

So I wanted to get one, and luckily enough for me, Babeland was happy enough to oblige my whim. I waited and waited. And then, of course as soon as it came, I was sick. And then, once I was feeling better, I had my first ever yeast infection (probably from the antibiotics I was on for being sick). So I waited some more.

And then? The day of reckoning. Keeping in mind that I’ve been loving on the Hitachi for a good 3 or 4 years at this point, and you can imagine what this looked like in my mind. A shoot out in the SM Corral between the Wahl and the Hitachi. Hitachi had the bettin’ odds, but I was willing to give the under dog Wahl a chance.

I plugged ‘er on in, and lay back in bed. I started first with the attachment it already had (there are 7 in all), which is the one displayed on the box. And logically, I started at level 1 (out of 2).

Not bad. A little tickly, but it did feel nice. However, no way in hell it was giving my magic wand a run for my money. I tried it on my back, breasts, hip bones, etc. Overall? It was an excellent massager…but even as I switched to all the different attachments, on level 1, it just was too light buzzy, and wasn’t going to get me going, no way no how.

And then, once I’d tried out all the attachments (I really like the larger circle with the pokey things - that felt amazing!) on level 1, I kicked it up a notch to level 2.

As a friend would say, OH EM GEESE! Whole different ball game (I know I’m mixing my metaphors, and they didn’t play ball in the Old West…but bear with me!). It was this like deep, penetrating vibration…that was almost too much for ME to handle. *ME* She of the weapons grade sex toys. She of the Hitachi and Lelo. She of the “plug ‘er in, let ‘er rip.” Yeah. It was THAT strong. And it felt phenomenal…when I could take it.

Brilliant. Really. One level is good for massaging and a little teasing, the other excellent for getting off. I had to kind of re-train my body to get off using it, since it was so used to the Hitachi, but it was totally do-able.

One small problem with it is that it cramps my style a bit. Unlike the Hitachi which you can balance against you, or tuck into your underwear (thereby leaving your hands free for other fun things), you have to physically hold onto the Wahl as it vibrators your hands immensely. Slightly annoying, slightly frustrating….but still worth it

Like the Hitachi, the Wahl is definitely affordable, which is always a bonus. If I had to choose between the two, I’ll still go with my old favorite..but since I don’t, I’m happy to have both on call. 4.5 stars!

-Essin’ Em

All their vibrators are rechargeable, which is awesome, convenient, and very earth friendly. They also use plastic and pure silicone, so everything they make is phthalate-free. Basically, they rock. And then they decided to rock even more, and offered to let me try ANY TOY I WANTED.

Well. I had the Gigi, and the Liv, and the Lily. What more could I possibly want?

Answer? Ella. I was ready to start a little love affair with this beauty.

She’s solid black, and as most of you are aware, I think black sex toys are pretty much the sexiest things ever. I have a black lily, a black granite dildo, black and red flogger, and the list goes on. But this is a beautiful matte silicone, unlike any other dildo I’ve ever tried. It’s also shaped just like the Gigi, which you may remember is pretty much the most amazing shape in regards to my vagina. It makes me make ridiculous noises I have never made before.

So I was sooooo excited to try it out. It came…but sadly, I didn’t, because as soon as I got it, I got really sick. I took it into the shower to try out at one point, but then got distracted by a certain person (but it is water proof - obviously).

FINALLY, I got to try it out. Remember, it IS silicone, so no silicone lube, but anything water based will do quite well.

I busted out (as always) the Hitachi. I hadn’t had sex in a whole week, and I hadn’t really masturbated (minus a quicky while falling asleep last week) in 3 or 4 weeks. I was so freaking ready for this.

The shape, just like the Gigi, was perfect. It may seem a little small to some people, but no. Really. The shape is like “hello, I am hooked up with a GPS system for the sole purpose of finding your G-Spot” - and then does so. G-spot, meet Ella. Ella, g-spot. Have a lovely time!

I came in less than two minutes. And then again in another 3. And then again. And again. Between the Hitachi and Ella, I could have probably come over and over and over all afternoon. Sadly (for my vagina, but happily for me), I was headed out to meet L, so I had to get dressed and head out…otherwise, I probably would have come about 3 million more times. And that’s not an exaggeration or anything.

My only beef with it? It isn’t harness compatible - I wish it was, because can you IMAGINE what it would feel like to have someone pressed against you, fucking you with Ella. Maybe it’s better that this isn’t possible. I might just die of pleasure from that. I really love this toy. So much, it might become a permanent fixture in my nightstand drawer. And that, my friends, is saying a lot.

Want your own Ella to be your personal pleasure object? Learn more at Lelo.com, or buy your own by clicking here!

-Essin’ Em